Birthing A Dream

‘Your vocation in life is where your greatest joy meets the world’s greatest need.’

Frederick Buechner
Educator, Writer, Theologian

I can vividly recall a moment during a church service where a young lady spoke about the time her greatest joy met the world’s greatest need. Before she began her job with Tearfund (I’ve never actually had a conversation with this woman but I think this is still her occupation!) she watched a news story reporting of poverty and crisis. She said, with authenticity, that she spent the next day sobbing on her own about the injustice. Her heart broke.

I’m sure it’s possible to discover your passion without having a deeply emotional moment (or day) but the times when I’ve sobbed about injustice have served as reminders of my deepest passion. People and brokenness. Before I continue — and potentially give you the impression that I always live and breathe this stuff — it’s ironic that this is also one of my biggest character flaws. It’s often due to this ‘heart passion’ that I respond to those closest to me with a cold exterior, harsh words and defensive remarks. Deep down, it’s because I feel emotions (and I like to think others’ emotions) so intensely that I haven’t yet learned to manage it. There are times when I’m a little more gracious, but sometimes a minor emotional burden that someone carries becomes like an insurmountable problem in my heart.

Confessions over.

When I think back to the times, in my short life so far, that I’ve encountered these moments, it always revolves around people’s hurt. It’s during these moments that I learn more about myself and my insatiable appetite for wanting to show people hope and love them back to restoration. I’m aware that it’s ‘not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit’ (Zechariah 4:6) but I can’t help the fact that I want to love them until all the cracks are filled. I suppose you could say I’m an idealist. Ironic, again, because I definitely possess choleric and melancholic attributes.

Of course, each blog is usually inspired by an emotional catalyst and the only way I can communicate this is to write. Currently we have two Swedish Bible college students living with us and they decided to cook dinner for us tonight and watch a film with us. October Baby triggered more emotions than I was ready for on this fine ‘hump day.’

• For future viewers, this was published on a Wednesday; don’t make it weird.

I had already had an emotional day at work — for child protection reasons I can’t issue the details — resulting in many tears about a student who is majorly questioning his/her identity. I wish I could fix it. So when I began to watch the story of an orphaned twin whose mother had tried to abort her, I couldn’t stop the waterfall that poured from my eyes.

My dream, in whatever form that takes, is to have an influence. This is a dream that is achievable. Some days, I feel like I’m conquering this dream and other days I feel like I can’t take care of myself very well. However, I’ve had a wake up call today that has reminded me of my spiritual desire to help restore those who are broken in whatever way that is. We’ve all got cracks that shape who we are and how we respond to life, but there are experiences, words spoken over us, relationships and other ‘cracks’ that can hold us back and stop us from living in our true and beautiful identity.

A dream was birthed a while ago. Like many others, it was conceived from pain but will serve as a continuous healer for myself and hopefully for others. By grace; through faith.

I believe there will always be hope.